Hump Day Update: 4/12/17

2By Rachel A.G. Gilman, Staff Writer

Welcome back to Hump Day Update, the place to find out everything you need to know about what’s been going on in the entertainment world for the week. I’m Rachel A.G. Gilman. But enough about me, let’s get to the news.

ABC is reportedly in the works to make a show about a murderer who investigates murder cases, and also works to cover up his own dirty work. No cast has been announced because the network is still figuring out how to pitch it to actors without causing uncontrollable laughter and eye rolling for ten minutes.

Ludacris is out with a new song that gives a whole new meaning to needing “Vitamin D,” which also comes along with a music video of the rapper examining women’s butts – hitting them with a small hammer – and pulling their hair, proving Jason Derulo isn’t the only one obsessed with the body part. If you were already afraid of the doctor, now you have to worry about sexual harassment!

Kylie Jenner will be the latest Kardashian to get her own spin-off from the show called “Life with Kylie,” which will feature her friends and daily life being a young beauty and fashion mogul. Essentially, it’ll be what she already spends time posting on Snapchat, but I won’t be able to avoid it as easily.

Jay-Z made the decision to remove majority of his music collection from Spotify this week, making it only available from streaming on his personally-backed platform, Tidal. I’m all for supporting your own brand, dude, but maybe think about the most lucrative choice when you’re about to have two new babies to support?

Freeform’s “Switched at Birth” will be coming to an end soon, and lead character Daphne will be contemplating if she really wants to be a doctor after numerous seasons and whining to us about how that’s her life’s dream. You don’t go through having your sister lie for you and get arrested, work at an herbal clinic in remote China, and waste all of our time watching you study organic chemistry not to just go through with it, Daphne!

Harry Styles released his first single this week, following it with comments that it is “amazing” to watch his fellow One Direction members becoming fathers after Liam Payne recently joined the dad club. He also could’ve said it’s just a “sign of the times,” because self-promotion is key.

In better ABC news, “Black-ish” will reportedly be getting a spin-off featuring Matt Walsh of “Veep” fame and Chris Parnell from “Saturday Night Live” in leading roles to tell the story of Zoey Johnson in her first year of college. Get ready for lots of ramen, questions about how to use the washing machine, and a plethora of discussions about race and gender in contemporary culture – #freshmanmoves.

John Mayer voiced his opinion on Camila Cabello’s decision to leave Fifth Harmony, old news that finally made its way to the honorary Grateful Dead member’s ears, saying that he thinks the band is better with Cabello. I mean, the more bodies up there the more wonderlands to explore, right, John?

And finally, Alec Baldwin has yet to leave his role at Pres. Trump yet on “Saturday Night Live,” returning to put on the wig and the big pants when the show returned this week. However, he gave us some idea of who he might take on next should he retire Mr. Trump, performing in a scene where he played both the President and Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly. I guess it just proves that all white, middle-aged conservatives do look basically the same.

Hope you enjoyed this week! See you back here next week. Chag Sameach and Happy Easter, NYU.

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