Hump Day Update: 3/22/17

By Rachel A.G. Gilman, Staff Writer

Welcome back to Hump Day Update, the place to find out everything you need to know about what’s been going on in the entertainment world for the week. I’m Rachel A.G. Gilman. But enough about me, let’s get to the news.

James Blake released a new music video for his song “My Willing Heart,” which featured a pregnant Natalie Portman swimming around in black and white. This comes after Blake’s work with a pregnant Beyoncé, which may or may not mean his interests are limited and definitely proves these women are making pregnancy the new trend (you know, when you’re ready to support a child, of course).

“Dancing With the Stars” has returned once more on ABC, where the terrible bachelor Nick Viall was joined by fellow non-dancing, sort of famous people like Charo and Mr. T for the first night of competition. The highlight of the evening was David Ross from the Chicago Cubs dancing to his team’s theme song “Go Cubs Go,” proving that no, athletes really don’t have other interests outside of sports.

Jason Derulo and Nicki Minaj have collaborated, which was only inevitable given his love of singing about butts and her ass-ets. Alongside Ty Dolla $ign, the two sing about swallowing something freaky-freaky and are accompanied in the music video by lots of ladies sucking on long stick lollipops, in something like Candyland. I guess King Candy’s grown up since I last played the board game.

“The Big Bang Theory” has been renewed for two more seasons this week on CBS. Meanwhile, TBS has decided to cut all of their other programming and only show reruns of the program on the network, realizing it is their highest rated content anyway (sorry, Conan).

Drake revealed his “More Life” playlist this week in anticipation of his upcoming Boy Meets World Tour, where the songs shouted out friends like Lil Wayne and Jennifer Lopez, his lady, whom apparently he’s a frequent drunk texter of. When I try to drunk text celebrities my messages always bounce back, too, Drake, so no worries.

It was announced this week that “Sesame Street” will be bringing on a new character named Julia, the first Muppet with autism. Writers are looking forward to making Julia a regular on the show, which they’ll be able to do since having moved to HBO and are no longer in jeopardy of President Trump cutting their funding for more important things like golf trips or gold curtains.

Speaking of unsettling things relating to conservatives and children, Tim Allen sat down with Jimmy Kimmel this week to discuss his involvement in the upcoming Toy Story 4 film, and compared being a conservative in Hollywood to having lived in Nazi Germany, saying people will get angry if you don’t believe what they do. Maybe they’ll just get angry that someone who supported the worst possible role model for children for president is making children’s films?

SXSW happened during our week away, and pretty much everyone was there, including former Disney star Bridgit Mendler, who debuted her new song “Can’t Bring This Down” in a special showcase performance. Unfortunately, this doesn’t appeal to all of the college kids attending who were looking for bigger celebrities to take photos with, more obscure bands, and crazier pool parties.

And finally, Saturday Night Live will return in April with an all-new show that will air live across the entire continental United States for the first time ever! That means that whether President Trump is sitting on the toilet in the White House bathroom, or wearing his bathrobe at a hotel in Arizona after a 2020 campaign rally, he can take out his Android and tweet about it in real time with everyone. Can’t wait…

Hope you enjoyed this week! See you back here next weeks. Happy Spring, NYU.

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