Hump Day Update: 7/13/2016

By Rachel A. G. Gilman, Staff Writer

Welcome to Hump Day Update, the place to find out everything you need to know about what’s been going on in the entertainment world for the week. I’m Rachel A.G. Gilman. But enough about me, let’s get to the news.

Music, TV, and traditionally bad summer entertainment combined with the premier of ABC’s summer program, “Greatest Hits.” While the show probably won’t end up being anything close to its name as far as television series go, it will be like Make A Wish for celebrities, where super famous and rich people have their dreams come true with other super famous and rich people. Who do you feel more sorry for?

Ansel Elgort (remember, the dying hunk in “The Fault in Our Stars?”) has made his debut as a singer this week on Soundcloud with the track “Home Alone,” breaking out from his DJ reputation. It shows us what being a white man with a famous father can get you in this business – #thestruggleisntsoreal.

Speaking of other actors turned musicians, Hailee Steinfeld is teasing snippets of her upcoming song with Zedd this week, which is apparently called “Starving” and includes the line, “Don’t need no butterflies when you give me the whole damn zoo.” I’m not sure what the definition of love is to Hailee, but something tells me it involves a lot more Animal Planet than mine.

In case you were wondering how else NBC could continue to make their holiday specials hip and cool, they just cast Ariana Grande in the role of Penny Pingleton in the upcoming edition of “Hairspray Live!” I guess that’s cool, but I was really hoping this would be Amanda Bynes’ chance to reprise the role and finally get her life back together (instead of, you know, saying she’s coming to NYU).

Calvin Harris is seemingly finally having his say after the break-up with T-Swizzle, releasing a track with John Newman about someone who is crushing on a “good girl” who likes to take trips with her boyfriend. I mean, I know that people are saying Harris has been working on this track for months, but Tom Hiddleston probably had that tank top we saw him in last week hanging in his closet for a while now.

If you love Christ, camouflage, and candle making, I’m sure you were doing the same thing I was Sunday night and watching the season premier of “Return to Amish” on TLC where Mary was banished from her Amish community after having opened a bed and breakfast on the community’s premises and taking a trip to New York City that involved a makeover. And they say soap operas and full of drama…life in the sticks is crazy, too!

The band Chvrches recruited Paramore songstress Hayley Williams to record a video of their song “Bury It” where everyone is animated and “rising above” the chaos in the world, which this week could mean the racial tensions flooding the country, or the equally evil addiction everyone has developed toward Pokemon Go.

In more ABC news, their summer show “Uncle Buck” was cancelled after one meek season on the network, which is either evidence that television is racist as they continue to make more seasons of white “Bachelors” and “Bachelorettes,” or maybe, you know, everyone’s too busy out protesting for black rights to be home to watch the show on Monday evening.

And finally, in Broadway news, Lin-Manuel Miranda took his final bow as the namesake character in “Hamilton” this weekend where he went out to the theme song to “The West Wing.” Does this mean in addition to making us kids read history books again he’s also going to popularize early 2000s crime dramas? Only time will tell, hipsters.

Hope you enjoyed this week! See you back here next Wednesday. Stay cool, NYU!

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