By Rachel A.G. Gilman
Welcome to Hump Day Update, the place to find out everything you need to know about what’s been going on in the entertainment world for the week. I’m Rachel A.G. Gilman. But enough about me, let’s get to the news.
Nick Jonas hosted the “Kids’ Choice Awards” Saturday, sending a confusing message after his entire attempt to go solo and grow up from his childish, Disney roots. Regardless, his white pants were definitely out of season and his performance looked like a circus act. I still can’t take you seriously, Jonas Brother.
Chris Brown announced his plan to start a residency in Las Vegas, joining the likes of Britney Spears, Cher, and Celine Dion. Not sure what these guys have in common, unless Brown plans to wear a sparkly, skimpy outfit when he performs. But, hey, maybe Vegas really is the best place for Brown. After all, who’s more qualified to live in Sin City than a man who was rejected entrance to welcoming, friendly Canada because of his criminal record?
Meanwhile, Canada’s former pride and glory Justin Bieber continued efforts to clean up his image, which apparently does not include romance. He told USA Today, “At this point in my life I’m so focused on myself that I’m not looking for [anyone],” which sounds a lot like what I say at a family gathering when asked about my love life.
Kelsey Grammer visited “Late Night with Seth Meyers” this week to discuss his new Broadway musical, “Finding Neverland,” which officially opens April 15th.While talking about previews, Grammar brought up how last Tuesday he forgot the lines to the song he was singing, said a four letter word like, “Oops,” then asked the conductor to start over. I was actually at said performance and can assure you, despite “Finding Neverland” being about the creation of a children’s story, Kelsey’s word choice was of the adult variety.
In other late night TV news, James Corden joined the party this week when he took over “The Late Late Show.” Depending on who you ask, the show seems hit or miss, but one definite win was his carpool karaoke sketch with Mariah Carey. Watch your back, Jimmy Fallon, you’re no longer the only James who can get celebs to act silly (we all know Kimmel’s just a stick in the mud!).
Patrick Dempsey finally returned to “Grey’s Anatomy” this week, giving us something dreamy to look at again between all of the unsettling surgery scenes. Thank you, Derek, for coming back and relieving our stomachs and vision.
To try and help all middle-aged people get over “Hot in Cleveland’s” end, TV Land premiered “Younger” this week, staring Sutton Foster as a forty year-old who poses as a twenty-something to land a job. So keep your chin up, kids — this means one day we’ll miss this scary, stressful time in our lives.
Speaking of people going through an aging crisis, Madonna managed to stay on her feet at the iHeart Radio Music Awards this Sunday and brought Taylor Swift on stage to accompany her on guitar. Not only has Taylor Swift basically dated every celeb guy who’s ever caught your eye (she’s been linked to Calvin Harris recently), she’s now living out your mom’s fantasies too.
And finally, Zayn Malik confirmed that he’s parting ways with One Direction this week, which sadly was not an April Fool’s joke. People all over the world cried and joked (while likely crying on the inside). We’ll miss you, Zayn, and all your little things.
Hope you enjoyed this week! See you back here next Wednesday.
Rachel A.G. Gilman is a staff writer. Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.