By Katelyn Fournier
On March 4, Netflix announced a new partnership with actor, producer, and philanthropist Leonardo DiCaprio, along with his production company Appian Way, on documentary projects to appear exclusively on Netflix.
DiCaprio has already worked on projects like “VIRUNGA,” which received a 2015 Academy Award nomination for Best Documentary Feature. Here at Washington Square News, we have a few ideas for documentary projects that we think Leo should promote as part of the multi-year Netflix deal.
“’90s Heartthrobs with Unfortunate Facial Hair” — A guide to becoming the next big Hollywood philanthropist and environmental do-gooder while dating the blondest supermodel in town. Optional behind-the-scenes clips on how to wear a man-bun.
“All the Polar Bears Are Dead” — A revealing exposé of all the ways that your failure to recycle is killing the world’s most adorable and deadly mammal.
“House of Consumerism” — An inside look at the drama of consumer capitalism in American politics, highlighting the corruption in Washington’s Congress and Senate and how politicians help out their big corporate friends for special favors.
“The 12th Hour” — A daring sequel to DiCaprio’s acclaimed environmental documentary “The 11th Hour.”
“Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That Ivory” — An in-depth account of the ivory poaching crisis that is killing the world’s elephants, how you can help stop the crisis, and why ivory is definitely not the new black.
“Whose Keystone Pipeline Is It Anyway?” — An educational documentary for people who are confused about the Keystone Pipeline debate and its significance to environmental policy.
“Damn, That’s One Hell of a Dam” — The environmental effect of reservoirs and the historical and contemporary debate surrounding their use.
“Don’t Drink That Water!” — Think your water might be contaminated? You’re probably right! Contamination of drinking water and water pollution are both contributing to a shortage of clean drinking water.
“Carbon-Weightwatchers” — How to reduce your carbon footprint in four easy steps.
“Venice is Drowning” — The contemporary tragedy of how the city of Venice is sinking because of rising sea levels and how the problem is already affecting civilizations around the world.
“Rise of the Three-Headed Frog” — A docu-feature on the blight of radioactive waste and its disastrous effects on human, animal, and plant life.
“You Can’t Recycle That” — Just a continuous slideshow of all the items you can’t recycle that end up in landfills. Possibly supplemented with a voice-over by Morgan Freeman, because why not?
“7,000,000,000 and Counting” — Overpopulation and the dangerously growing numbers of people that are depleting the Earth’s resources.
“Blue Strawberries” — The ridiculousness of genetically modified food and why you would be an idiot to support it. Can’t pronounce that word on the food label? Maybe you should take the hint.
“Hide Yo’ Cats” — House cats are killing all of the birds. Keep your cats as indoor pets, people. Seriously, Mittens is the reason all the songbirds in your neighborhood ain’t singing no more.
Which documentary would you most like Leonardo DiCaprio to make for Netflix?
Katelyn Fournier is a contributing writer. Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org