“The 7 Secrets of Awakening the Highly Effective Four-Hour Giant, Today”

By Talia Kuhel

via Amazon
via Amazon

“It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” fans can officially get their fix without watching a screen. The gang is back and they’ve written a book: “The 7 Secrets of Awakening the Highly Effective Four-Hour Giant, Today.”

Just like the show, the book is rated R. It reads like a mix of skewed advice on making money, tricking people into falling in love with you (possibly to steal their money), and making money off of your children, among other thoughts.

Why are Charlie, Mac, Dennis, Sweet Dee, and Frank qualified to help readers help themselves? Mac lays it out like this, “We are totally somebodies and we’re totally qualified to be book writers and world renowned fixers of other people’s broken pathetic lives.” And that line is meant to be a sales pitch.

The book reads like the bombastic conversations you would read in the show’s script. Each character takes the book as a platform for passing their theories off as wisdom. Among other topics, Dee makes fun of Dennis’ creepy romance scheme and writes her own gold digger to-do list. Dennis pens a heartfelt essay that reads like a scumbag’s claim to higher truths. Frank writes a gross bit about his escapades and how to make money off of his children. Mac talks about getting into shape and insinuates subtle homophobic fears.

Each character offers input on Charlie’s chapter, which highlights what fans will recognize as the running theme of Charlie’s illiteracy. What evolves is a mix of the other character’s ego-ridden thoughts about Charlie and a few pieces of scratches and doodles you might find on a kindergartner’s notebook.

In sum, the book collects a good series of ridiculous bar stool chats that make the show a raunchy and hilarious ride and now you can have it inked and bound for the shelf. Buy it for a fan, but don’t expect any self-improvement.

Talia Kuhel is a staff writer. Email her at books@nyunews.com.

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