By Rachel A.G. Gilman
Welcome to Hump Day Update, the place to find out everything you need to know about what’s been going on in the entertainment world for the week. I’m Rachel A.G. Gilman. But enough about me, let’s get to the news.
The AMAs were this week. The show opened with a performance by Taylor Swift, where her facial expressions had clearly been practiced in the mirror while singing into a hairbrush. Selena Gomez returned to the music scene with “Heart Wants What It Wants,” proving what we already knew to be true: Justin Bieber is a heart-breaking jerk who makes you cry and grow wings. One Direction and Iggy Azalea won big, proving that Americans don’t actually like American music.
Another season of “Dancing with the Stars” came to a close this week. As of the time I’m writing this, the finale show has yet to air, but I think the fact that Alfonso Ribeiro is not only the last guy left, but also the only person who isn’t actually a teenager or playing one on TV already makes him a winner. After all, it’s not unusual that we have so much fun watching him. Carlton on!
It was revealed this week that Katy Perry will be this year’s performer during the halftime show, so get ready for whipped cream cannon bras, a stadium full of glitter, and I’m guessing at least a dozen, crazy, sparkly costume changes.
ABC canned their new John Stamos drama, “Members Only,” before it even had a chance to air in January. Sadly, your mom will have to settle for watching him on the Dannon Oikos commercials.
Want to know which show ABC didn’t cancel prematurely this season? The lucky winner there would be “Cristela,” a comedy about a American Latina living with her family during her sixth year of law school, having just landed a great (unpaid) internship. Let’s hope that “Cristela’s” conservative time-slot neighbor, “Last Man Standing,” doesn’t try to kick the comedy back over the border.
Fall Out Boy announced that they will release their sixth album January 20th, giving you just enough time to break out your emo black hoodies from middle school, flat iron your bangs, and Google the lyrics to your old favorite FOB tunes – just to make sure you remember what Patrick Stump is singing….
For those of you still watching “Glee” – and for that I commend you – it was hinted at this week that cast originals Santana and Brittany will be tying the knot on the final season of the FOX show after Naya Rivera posted a photo of herself wearing a veil on Instagram. Hm, wonder if they’ll invite Sam (remember fish lips?), the only guy who dated both of them.
Sting will be returning to acting in January. He’ll be taking over the starring role in his Broadway musical, “The Last Ship,” which debuted last month. However, since the show has been suffering financially lately, it sounds more like this move is a bit of a last resort on the rocker’s part. Here’s to hoping his ship won’t sink.
And finally, if you’re looking for a good parody this Thanksgiving (and who isn’t?), check out “All About That Baste”, brought to you by the Holderness family. While the foursome can really wear themselves some Christmas jammies, they prove with this video that can’t quite prepare a successful Thanksgiving, regardless of how much they love butter. It’ll certainly make you thankful for whatever good food you’ll be indulging in this holiday.
Hope you enjoyed this week! See you back here next Wednesday.
Rachel A.G. Gilman is a staff writer. Email her at email@example.com.