by Clio McConnell
This week on “New Girl,” there’s all sorts of crazy shenanigans going on. Jess must test her mothering skills as a babysitter for Russell’s daughter, Nick’s latest fling struggles to teach him about modern art, Winston’s boss is acting crazier than usual, and Schmidt and Cece may be introducing a Schmidt, Jr. into the world.
Even with the paramount drama in “Kids,” though, the “New Girl” cast delivers a particularly funny penultimate episode to the season, with more irresistible quotes than ever before. Because, really, it doesn’t get much better than Jess’ accusation of Nick—“I might as well call you ‘Bridge to Terabithia,’ because you make children cry!”
In this episode, the “New Girl” writers prove yet again that they like to address clichéd after-school-special themes in their own quirky—shall we say adorkable?—ways. For example, Jess’ stint looking after Russell’s daughter (Sarah, played by Annalise Basso), involves that awkward moment where Ms. Day offers to answer any questions the youngster might have. Naturally, the tween jumps straight to sex. Jess, uncomfortable, offers an alternative—“Do you want to learn how to play bridge?”
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Schmidt and Cece are not dealing with their possible pregnancy in the typical manner. Indeed, “Kids” opens with Jess and Cece discussing what a “Schmidt baby” would be like. Cece wonders aloud if the child would just want to nurse 24/7; Jess suggests that they could create a “Douchebaby Jar.”
Schmidt turns to Winston for help with the infant issue, but Winston is distracted by his boss’ (Phil Hendrie) latest hi-jinks. While their gimmicks aren’t too exciting, we do learn that Winston has a sweet ride—it’s blue, it’s a convertible, and it has fins.
And then, of course, there is Nick. Nick—definitely the least successful of the roommates—has recently been getting his kicks dating college girls. The latest notch on his bedpost is the artistically inclined Chloe, who informs Nick about “famous artists, like Banksy.” The three roommates are relieved that he finally has a girl who acts maturely, but it eventually comes out that she might not be quite as grown-up as they had thought.
As a side note, it’s becoming more noticeable that creators have an admirable stash of funny references up their sleeves. While the writing is not quite as quippy as that of, say, “Gilmore Girls,” I’d call it a good sign when Jess compares herself and her roomies to the lovely ladies of “Golden Girls” (in case you’re wondering, she’s Betty White).
With “Kids,” the “New Girl” crew looks to be finishing up their season with considerable laughs. Here’s hoping for a Nick/Jess cliffhanger ending to the finale… We’ll have the summer to choose whether to call them Jick or Ness.
Clio is theater/books editor. Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.